Uncharted Territory

So I originally wrote this blog 2 weeks ago just after the girls started back to school.  I'm just now realizing that I never hit "Publish Post".  Duh......


I have an empty house.  It's just me, the dog and the cat.  The girls are off to their first week of school and I'm home alone.   It's nice and quiet.  The dog and I have just finished a 3 hour hike and we feel great.   My plan for this week is to get out and hike each day.  Hitting trails I haven't been on and hiking as long as I want.  I'm stretching out in new directions and exploring uncharted territory.  I have 7 hours to kill from the time I drop them off to the time I pick them up.  What to do with myself??  Obviously I have found 1 thing; hike.  There has to be more though right? 

I am looking for jobs as well.  I met a woman recently who suggested that I look into getting a seasonal job at one of the ski resorts.  Aside from the obvious perk of it being seasonal and not being locked into it until goodness knows when she said there are many other benefits such as ski passes, discounts on ski school and deals at local shops.  It sounds pretty good to me so I've begun looking.  I just finished an application to Deer Valley Resort for a full time position in the childcare center.  This seems like a no brainer to me since I was a substitute teacher at a preschool in MD, helped out at the elementary school in the classroom and with the art kids in the variety show there, and taught kids yoga in a variety of places.  I now have an interview lined up for next week.  Here's to hoping it goes well.

I'm also still working on getting connected to the local hospital.  I've been researching the hospital itself along with local OB/GYNs and midwives.  I have been asking around to people I've met to see if they might have any connections for me to contact.  I have come up with a few and need to start planning how I will present myself to them.  I also need to work on a proposal to submit to the hospital itself, as they don't currently have a perinatal fitness program. 

This week I feel like I need to stretch out and test the waters so to speak.  I am learning about my new community and putting myself out there meeting people and seeing what happens in Park City.  This week I am hovering between the quiet grounding that has happened in my return to self-observation and the balance I need while I experiment and explore in establishing a new me in a new place.  In my practice I will be doing a lot of Ardha Chandrasana or Half Moon pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/784 Yoga Journal, 2011).  I'm staying grounded with one side of my body; one hand and one foot remain connected with the earth, and yet with the other side I'm reaching out to extend myself into my new surroundings.  Balance is key here and most of the balance is founded upon the grounding of my single hand and foot.  This is also a reminder as I begin to make my place in this new community that I must not ever overextend myself but keep parts of myself ever firm in the foundation of Self. 

I have so much to do and I'm feeling like I can start spreading my wings.  I'm becoming more sure of the lay of the land here and the time will soon come when I will take flight, embarking on the next part of this journey I call life.

Sittin' Pretty

Summer vacation is coming to an end.  This means I will have my day times available once again for working.  This next week will see me preparing to present myself as my own brand.  I will get my business website up and running, get brochures made for yoga and doula work, create a database of OB/GYN, midwife and pediatrician offices where I will distribute the brochures, update my resume, and write a proposal for the local hospital (they currently have no perinatal fitness classes).  In order to get this all done I need to focus.  This focus will consist of visualizing what exactly I'd like to accomplish, setting out my intention and creating a wave of positive energy that flows between myself and the community. 
Now as many of you know I'm no stranger to starting over again and again and again....  Each time has been a learning experience.  I've been able to narrow down what I'm offering so that I'm a unique entity in the yoga market.  I went from being a general yoga teacher to focusing on the specific genre of childbirth.  Teaching yoga to prenatal and postpartum mothers, their babies and partners paired with my experience as a doula makes me an invaluable part of the perinatal community.
In order to obtain the focus needed to get the ball rolling I will be taking a seat for much of my practice.  This week will find me working on my meditation and visualization skills.  When meditating the sadhaka (yoga student) sits in Sukhasana (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/2481 Yoga Journal, 2011) or easy pose.  This pose allows the sit bones to ground making an energetic connection to the world around the sadhaka.  The purpose of this pose is to come to a relaxed place of being rather than a place of doing.  In this pose one strives to quiet the mind while energizing the body.  The goal of quieting the mind is many times more challenging then most of the hardest yoga poses.  The mind, with is many parts, is always rambling from one thought to the next, sometimes contemplating multiple thoughts at once.  In order to reign the mind in one should find a single point of focus or sabija (http://sabija.com/ ThriveInside, 2009).  Sabija could include a sacred sound (om), a mantra (om namah shivaya) or a visual point like the flame of a candle.  For my sabija I will visualize what I hope my next business venture to be like.  I will envision positive feedback from prospective employers, the right amount of work so that I'm not overextending myself, the pay that I hope to receive and the opportunity to grow.  I will endeavor to put these positive thoughts into action.  I will see it all in my state of "being" so that I will be more efficient in my state of "doing". 

The Area of a Triangle

A triangle has 3 points and 3 sides.  It seems that many of my relationships have held to the triangle standards.  Mind you this is not to be confused with the 6 degrees of separation.

Take for instance my husband, it was the third place we shared connections that we actually met.  We could have met in Maine while he was attending the nearby college where I would often visit friends.  We could have met in Massachusetts where I was attending college, he had transferred and we once again had friends in the same place.  But no it was in Colorado on Halloween night many years ago when we were each out with 2 friends and a strange turn events between 2 of those friends that brought us together.

Friends of my single days came by way of jobs.  My friend Denby, who is in the above photo, came my way due to our connection via working at Nine West.  First the job was the catalyst that got our friendship rolling and then our friendship became that open flood gate to the world beyond.

Currently in the land of mommyhood many of my friends came to my not by my own doing but more due to the direct connection of my daughters.  The friendships that my daughters formed in turn led me to my own.  One of my best friends in MD was a result of my oldest daughter's desire to do Girl Scouts.  Had this not been the case the triangle would not have been completed between myself and Karen. 

This week in honor of all those simple connections that have been initiated by simple and direct lines the pose is Utthita Trikonasana or triangle pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/494 Yoga Journal, 2011). It's a lovely pose with a broad, strong foundation. One must press the feet gently away from each other and yet at the same time draw them in and toward the groin.  This helps to engage the core and increase a sense of balance.  The shoulders release down the spine to ease any tension in the upper body.  The chest expands and the heart opens.  The head is poised lightly extending through the crown while comfortably turning upward toward an open hand.

Utthita  Trikonasana is one of my favorite postures.  I find the sense of stable sturdy legs paired with the open heart most comforting.  I'm always amazed at how easily I feel that I can settle into the pose all the while breaking it down in micro movements to open, extend and hinge deeper.  My mind rarely wanders in triangle pose because it is busy noticing the small adjustments that I can make to take myself further in the posture.

The same holds true for all of those triangular relationships in my life.  My mind rarely wanders from them but instead is constantly making small adjustments for the relationship to go deeper, to take it to the next level.  I find it comforting to know that all of my relationships as well as my Being in triangle posture are a work in progress.   

My lovely model doing the pose with me this week is none other than the world class Denby Bruzas.  

Lean on Me

This past week I had the pleasure of spending time with some of my most treasured friends.  For many of them, it had been years since we had seen each other.  However it seemed like no time had passed.  We settled back into that familiarity of a strong friendship.  We all had so much to catch up on sometimes conversation moved very swiftly.  During those conversations it was clear to me how much our lives continue to intertwine and support each other.  

Even though the things that we support each other on have changed many times over the years and even though there have been times when we've each overstepped the boundaries, we still maintain that unbreakable connection.  We have each taken a turn providing the strength to hold another up when they are facing problems that might otherwise beat them down.  Likewise we've each had to be humble when we were the ones needing that shoulder to cry on.

This week in honor of ALL my friends the pose is Stacking Downward Dog.  Adho Mukha Svanasana (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/491 Yoga Journal, 2011) is paired with Ardha Adho Mukha Vrksasana (half handstand).  The person doing downward dog becomes deeply grounded with the weight and direction of energy when the person doing the half handstand takes position.  The person doing half handstand must concur the fear of being upside down and having all of their weight in their own hands (http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/916 Yoga Journal, 2011).  Clearly given that this is a partner pose the two individuals must support each other physically but there must also be trust and communication. It's not surprising that these two things are the foundation for long lasting friendship.

Last week while my friends and I confided in each other, reminisced about past follies, and contemplated what our individual futures hold I was reminded how blessed I am to have the friends I do.  Whether they are near or far each friend has taken a turn holding me up when my legs felt as if they may buckle with the weight of life, encouraged me to reach for my goals, helped me sift through the rubble to find the treasures beneath and have been a shining light to bring happiness and fulfillment to my life.  I can only hope that I was able to return the favor.

Thank you all and I love you dearly!!! 


A special thank you to Tina Molloy for modeling the pose with me.

Putting Down Roots

Week 2 in Park City is coming to a close.  We have gone exploring a bit deeper into the surrounding area and have found reservoirs to swim in, lots of great trails to hike, a sweet new thrift store to shop at and a new favorite ice cream joint.  Each day we're taking a new adventure and finding new and exciting places to visit and explore.  In some ways it already seems like we've been here longer.

The one thing I have yet to do is make it to a yoga studio.  Without my "village" I don't have anyone to watch the girls while I take a class.  My husband is gone most of the time to work and when he's home on the weekends it's family time, same as when he comes home in the evenings.  Normally I wouldn't think twice about skipping out on the evenings or weekends and leaving him with the girls but given the fact that we were apart for the better part of the last year while he was here and we were in MD I can't justify doing that just yet.  Instead I guess I'm subconsciously opting to reestablish the roots of this family.  Right now I feel I need to put more thought and effort into the family tree.

This week I will focus on Vrksasana or tree pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/496 Yoga Journal, 2011).  Vrksasana is all about the balance.  Before moving my scale was rather one sided.  I taught lots of classes and did tons of volunteer work but my time spent just with my husband and kids was limited.  I was always go, go, going and not often enough just being.  Now with the move I find that it's the opposite.  I'm doing a whole lot of nothing and that makes me feel antsy and interestingly enough, anxious.  As we are learning our way around and slowly making our way into this community it is my goal to bring those two opposing aspects into balance.  Not just for myself but for our family as a whole.  Can we stay firmly planted to the ground spreading our roots while reaching endlessly toward the sky?  I think we can.  The one thing that I feel needs to happen is rather than me being the one to always be in motion I need to slow down a bit and let the girls and Mark catch up.  We need to do things as a family instead of as individuals.   When I do start teaching again I need to take it down a notch and not throw myself so headlong into it that my balance is lost.

When I take tree pose this week I will bring added balance to the posture by holding my arms out like a scale.  In one hand I'll hold my family and all of their needs and wants, in the other I'll hold my own.  I will stay rooted firmly into the ground while continuing to grow tall toward the heavens and yet reaching evenly out toward each side.  I'll be a bit like a compass bearing each of the four directions, N, E, S & W.  I may sway in the wind like a tree but I won't topple.  My limbs will have the strength and integrity to support my family and myself without compromising either. 

Now that we're reconnecting with each other as a family we can each slowly begin to spread our limbs.  Gently latching onto things we each enjoy, for me that is yoga.  I will figure out a way to get to the local studios, check them out and take classes.  I won't force it but let it happen naturally.  This may mean that I don't teach again until after school starts back up.  I have decided I'm OK with that.  After all it's all about the balance and this summer balance means hanging out with my family.

Mountains out of Mole Hills

We moved into our house on Friday.  It's a sweet little mountain house complete with Lodge Pine.  It's in a nice neighborhood and the girls have already made friends.  We've mostly unpacked, except for the boxes hiding out downstairs in the guest room.  We took in the local 4th of July festivities and had a great time.  We went to the farmers market and the local artisan market.  We've made it to the library to get our card and checked out our first books there.  We have explored some trails behind our house and made steps toward becoming "locals".  Considering how hard the lead up to the move was the aftermath has been relatively easy.

The past couple of weeks have found me doing limited yoga.  Not only due to the busy-ness of the move but also because my knee has been bothering me.  Some how, unbeknownst to me, I injured it before the move  and have been dealing with the swelling, lack of mobility and sometimes pain that have been the result of this injury for the last few weeks.   The swelling has ceased but the overall discomfort has not.  I have been babying it and trying to keep from moving it in any way that is bothersome.  Last week pretty much all I did was headstand while trying to right my world which, by the way, helped. 

This week, with my world feeling more normal, I will be looking at things from the perspective of Tadasana or mountain pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/492 Yoga Journal, 2011).  Now that I'm surrounded on all sides by mountains it only seems right that this should be the pose of the week.  I'm in the valley of Park City and in every direction I look the skyline is above me.  Mountains by nature are strong, sturdy and wild.  My life here without a doubt will come to mirror that.  Given that the foundation of my body is compromised right now by my knee I need to take a lesson from the hills that surround me.  I need to broaden my foundation energetically and draw my life breath from the ground below my feet and carry it upward to the peak of my being or the crown of my head.  While in Tadasana I will focus on aligning my chakra system (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra Wikipedia, 2011).  Tadasana itself is a bit of a static posture.  One doesn't move the body in the sense of limbs lifting, extending or flexing.  Instead one moves the energy within the body.  I find that when I am in Tadasana and I close my eyes I am able to feel the energy rise from the ground below my feet and slowly sweep it's way upward touching each and every cell before gently releasing from the crown of my head.  I will focus on this movement of prana (life energy) as it moves through me.  I will pay more attention to it than I normally do and I will stay in this posture feeling this energy vibrate within in me as will as beyond my skin into the space around me.  Most importantly I will allow this flow of energy to meld my body, mind, and spirit into the mountains that surround me as they become not only a passing aspect of my life but an integral part of it. 

This End Up

We made it.  We got to Salt Lake without a hitch, thank goodness!  But this was only the day of travel, the rest of the week was a roller coaster of emotion.  I felt completely overwhelmed at some points and excited at the prospect of new adventure at others.  Once all the tasks were complete I did feel a sense of relief and some peace.  It was hard to say good-bye to our friends and lots of tears were shed.  I would be lying if I said last week did not take a toll on me.  My body is exhausted, my mind equally so and my heart needs some time to heal.

Now that we're here I'm not sure what to do.  This week we're in a state of limbo while we wait to move into our house.  We're living out of suitcases and while it could just seem like we're on any normal summer vacation we're not.  Our things and my car don't come until Friday when we move into the house.  I have the most random crap packed in my suitcase because there's stuff I found once the movers drove off with all the boxes.  I had to go on a search and rescue last night for dog food (specialty brand not carried by your run of the mill pet store) and sturdy shoes to hike around in (I managed to pack sneakers for the girls and not for myself).  We're camped out on mattresses in the middle of Mark's apartment borrowed from the owner of the house.  It's all a little topsy-turvy.

It can be a bit chaotic in a new place so the pose this week is Salamba Sirsasana or headstand (http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/178 Yoga Journal, 2011).  I feel like my life is a bit upside down so in order to see things from the right perspective I need to go upside down too.  Not only does the dristhi (http://www.thesecretsofyoga.com/Ashtanga/Dristhi.html The Secrets of Yoga, 2011) change outside the body but the focus must also change inside.  I must let go of what I see beyond myself and look within to find my balance.  The whole body must be engaged to find one's center of gravity when upside down.  I can't just power through mind over matter, I must find that power deep inside me.  The arms need to push the earth away so that I'm light on my head.  Core muscles need to hug the internal organs keeping them safe inside my torso and aiding the extension my spine.  The legs must energetically extend skyward to keep from crumbling down.  This is not always an easy pose even under the most ideal conditions.  To do this pose free form with no support is a testament of strength, endurance and focus.  While I no doubt have support from friends, family and most importantly my husband and daughters, I need to find the balance all on my own.  My dristhi must be turned inward and my body is to be the vessel that contains it all.